Book of Hours
by Person4
Summary: Somedays it seemed that her old life was the enchantment, and all that was or ever had been real were the castle, the lands, and The Beast.


Sometimes she remembered stories she'd heard in her village.... Or had it been a city? Or had she never heard stories at all?   
  
No, she had heard them, she was sure she had. Stories of how elves? Fairies? Demons? would spirit people away, and a hundred years would pass in the outside world that seemed only a day or two to those that had been taken. She wondered sometimes if that was happening to her. The time she had spent there certainly seemed greater then the long rows of marks she'd been making in the journal she'd brought from home would lead her to believe. By their count she'd been there for little more then three months, but in her mind her life before the castle was already hazy and distant, and the harder she tried to grasp her memories from that time the faster they seemed to flee her.   
  
Somedays it seemed that that life was the enchantment, and all that was or ever had been real were the castle, the lands, and The Beast.

* * *

The Beast did not mind her picking his roses, for all that he'd acted as though her father doing the same thing was a crime punishable by death. It was almost enough to make her believe that The Beast had threatened him purely so she or one of her sisters would come to the castle. Of course, such thoughts were pure foolishness; The Beast had had no reason to even believe her father had daughters until he'd been told of them, and if they were what he'd wished for he would have demanded one of them immediately rather then first seeking her father's life. The truth, she decided, must be that he didn't mind the roses being plucked so long as they remained on the grounds and as such in his possession.   
  
Roses were everywhere around the castle. After the invisibles apparently judged what her favorite varieties were by the choices she made when picking her own, they were everywhere _in_ the castle as well. Every morning she woke to find her room overflowing with them, and every spare vase, pitcher, and urn in the castle seemed to be moved into the halls so that they were lined with roses everywhere she went. She was beginning to hate the horrible flowers, and wondered how she could ever have desired the things enough to ask for one as her only gift. She could have at least asked for something useful, like a new loom to replace the one they'd had that she seemed to remember had almost been falling apart with age.   
  
After several weeks of this she finally trawled the grounds until she'd found a small gardener's cottage, complete with various seeds and tools to make her work easier. Over the course of a long afternoon she cleared a small patch of land and planted as many types of seeds as she could fit in it. She had no idea what might grow there, but so long as it was anything but roses she'd be happy.   
  
The Beast had watched her silently as she worked, covered in mud and grass, her skirts knotted above her knees so they would not get in her way, but somehow she could not bring herself to mind.

* * *

Did she have siblings? She thinks that she did. Sometimes she thinks she only had sisters; sometimes three of them, sometimes five, sometimes two. At times she thought that they had loved and coddled her, and at others she thought that they didn't like her at the best of times and _hated_ her after they learned the price of her rose. Most often they were simply normal people, who did their best to get by and, though they would find their tempers tried by her at times, loved her all the same.   
  
And sometimes she thought she had many older brothers, and the times when she thought her sisters hated her she thought her brothers had loved her just as strongly. She could picture them fighting over who would have the honor of riding up to the castle and challenging The Beast in order to save both her and her father, although none of them had gone in the end. She could just as easily picture them never having existed at all.   
  
She thought maybe she had had a younger brother, who had drowned when she was a child. No, died of a case of the smallpox which somehow left the rest of them unharmed.   
  
No, she didn't think she had had a younger brother after all. Perhaps she was thinking of some other family's child.

* * *

Her first days there she explored every room she could find. Almost all of them contained some form of amusement or another, but she found she was not drawn to any of them. She would pick up a lute for a moment or two in the music room, strum a few bars of a favorite song, then set it aside and move to the library wherein she would read a line or two of some book or another before moving on again.   
  
She knew that she must have had interests that kept her busy in her old life, but now none of them could hold her fancy for long. Even the singing and dancing she'd once used to pass the odd idle hours at home no longer entertained; with no one to watch her it soon became obvious to her how much her enjoyment of those activities had come from raising the spirits of her family rather then from the songs and dances themselves.   
  
She tended her garden, and that brought her moments of contentment at least. There were small, pale-green sprouts poking out of the soil now, and while she still couldn't tell what they would be, at least she could be sure from their form that they weren't rosebushes.   
  
And still The Beast watched her at her work. Sometimes she considered calling him over, pointing at the sprouts, asking if he knew what they were. Sometimes she just wanted the show them to him and say, 'Look! See what I have done, with my own hands and my own strength, and help from no one except God himself.'   
  
But she could not bring herself to do so. It was not so much because he was a beast, although she couldn't deny that that was part of it, that a part of her still cowered in his presence, as it was because she didn't know if she could bear it if he told her that it wasn't all her work, that the invisibles came when she was gone to fix her mistakes or that he used his strange magic to keep the plants from dying. So, rather then speak she widened her garden, planted more seeds, weeded with a renewed vigour.   
  
She continued to only speak to him when it was time to turn down his nightly proposal.

* * *

That other life must have been a dream, mustn't it? How could it have been real, when even details she should have been able to recall as easily as she could her own face were beyond her reach? Dream memories fled that way, not real ones, or at least not until many years had passed.   
  
But then, if that were true, why did the Beast ask if she missed her family once every great while? He could just be doing it to tease her of course, with all the magic she knew him to possess it wouldn't surprise her in the least to know he could read her mind, but she could not believe that of him. In all their time together he had never been anything but kind, so why would that change?   
  
So it had to be reality after all. But such a strange reality it must have been, that it shifted and warped and changed every time she thought of it.

* * *

When the garden was coming along well enough that she no longer felt she needed to tend it every day she took to boating. At first she could barely get a few feet from the shore, not because she was too weak but because she'd never used a rowboat before and was unsure how to go about it. Thankfully, after she'd floundered about for awhile, an invisible took pity on her and showed her the proper way to row. Soon she was able to go out on her own.   
  
The Beast watched her on the lake too. She half suspected that he was making sure that she didn't row straight across it, and escape into the forest on the other side. If that _was_ what he was thinking she almost felt proud that he would believe her strong enough to do such a thing. In truth she could barely get a fourth of the way across before she had to lie down on to boats flat bottom and rest until she'd regained enough energy to make it back.   
  
She would watch the sky then, and she would count the beat of her heart; beat on beat on beat. Once upon a time the quiet would have driven her to her lute, or her loom, or anything that could would break the stillness. Now she just let herself sink into the rhythm of her heart, the blue of the sky, and into the strange burning almost-pain in her arms the rowing caused. She had never felt something like it before the first time she'd hoed her garden, at first she'd even thought that she'd come down with a wasting illness of some sort, and now she could understand why her brothers would complain of the aching in their legs, arms, and backs when they came in from the fields at night. That was something that she _did_ feel proud about, for they would always say how girls like her and her sisters were too delicate to ever deal with such aches, and the fact that she'd now proved them wrong made her happier then she would ever have guessed. The fact that the pain was less every day as her body grew used to such strenuous activity made her even prouder.   
  
She had grown used to the silence out of necessity. The invisibles could not talk, The Beast did not except at dinner, and to speak to herself would be a sign of madness. The castle itself seemed to muffle all sound, if she specifically attempted to make noise it would allow it but her heels wouldn't click against the tile floors, fires didn't pop and hiss, and when eating her fork would never clank when it tapped against her plate. There wasn't even an echo if she yelled. She imagined that it was what limbo was like.   
  
So she listened to the noise in her heart, beat after beat after beat. When she returned to the shore The Beast would help her from the boat and she'd try to hear his as well, but the space between her ears and his heart was too great, and, though she no longer flinched away from his touch, she was unable to close it.

* * *

Memories came back to her more easily when they were of an activity, and she was in the process of doing it.   
  
One day she baked a cake, and even though she didn't remember the recipe she was going by her hands and her eyes knew the ingredients needed, how much to add and how long to bake. She had started it because it was raining outside, and it would at least give her something to do for awhile, but she quickly became bored of the task and the muggy heat from the ovens made her sleepy. She continued to work, but as soon as she had placed it in the oven she washed her hands of the whole thing, letting the invisibles know how long it needed to bake and then left them to do whatever they wanted with it while she returned to bed.   
  
They served the cake with dinner that night. The Beast, whom she'd never seen eat anything but meat, made a show of taking a piece. Most of it crumpled between his claws and his fangs, and she watched with detached interest as crumbs tumbled into his dark-brown fur. Animal though he appeared to be she knew that he always took great care with his grooming, and she was surprised that he'd dirty himself just for a slice of cake.   
  
He didn't seem to notice the mess, or if he did he didn't let it show, he just bared his teeth in the way she'd come to know was a smile and complimented her on her baking skills. She couldn't believe that he really thought that, her cake looked so drab and unappealing sitting in the middle of the kingly spread he had served to her every night that she'd already decided it must not have come out well at all, but she thanked him anyway.   
  
Then he asked what the ingredients were, and she realised that she no longer remembered. Instead of answering she just stared down at her plate, and when he asked her to marry him she shook her head without a word and returned to her room.   
  
She never touched the cake.

* * *

As The Beast helped her from her boat one afternoon a few weeks after she'd begun going out on the lake he said to her, "Beauty, have you ever learned to catch fish?"   
  
His voice was so unexpected that she would have fallen had it not been for his steadying arm. It was a long moment before his actual question made it through her mind and she answered him. "No. I think I remember that when I was a child my elder brothers would try to convince my father to let me go with them, but he felt such things are unladylike so he would never allow it. Why?"   
  
"I have seen that you always stop on the lake for some time before returning to the shore, and I have noticed in the past that it seems to please you to have work to do, so I thought perhaps you would like to take tackle with you on the lake to help you pass the time. However, if you feel that it is unproper for you to do so I am sorry that I brought it up."   
  
She considered him, then asked, "Would you mind?"   
  
"As I have told you in the past, I only desire your happiness Beauty. It does not matter if the things that amuse you would be deemed unsuitable in the outside world."   
  
That was the only reassurance she needed, so she smiled and nodded and said, "Teach me then. Polite society hardly matters here, the only one around to judge my actions is you. If you don't mind, then there is nothing to stop me."   
  
For an instant she would have sworn he seemed surprised by her acquiescence, but he quickly hid that reaction. "Then I shall have one of the servants meet you here tomorrow to teach you."   
  
He turned to walk away, but she quickly stepped in front of him, blocking his path. "No. I asked _you_ to teach me. If you won't, then I am content with continuing on the way I have."   
  
Now he definitely looked startled, and Beauty wondered how it was that she'd never realised how expressive his face was despite the fur, fangs, and snout. "If that is what you wish, then I will try. However, my hands were not designed for delicate work." He held them up for her to see, and she wondered why he even bothered to call them hands when they were so much closer to being paws. "My claws would tear the bait apart before it could be hooked, and the line would snap were I to try to attach it to the hook. I am afraid that my servants would make much better teachers then I, even if you are unable to see them."   
  
"Please, just tell me what needs to be done, and I'll do it. The invisibles..." she trailed off, and glanced around before asking, "None are here now, are they?" She waited until he shook his head 'no' before continuing, "I don't feel comfortable alone in their presences. I didn't mind so much when one of them taught me to row, as you were right here watching and we were never far enough from shore that I didn't think you'd be able to reach us quickly if something happened. So far from land, however... I believe that you would never allow anything here to harm me if it was in your power to stop it, if you desired that then it would already have happened, but I don't believe that even you could cross twenty yards of water quickly enough to protect me if something were to happen." He made no response, and she wondered if she'd been wrong to let him know that she feared his servants. Of course, he never really spoke to her; the fact that he'd taken so long to go silent was something of a surprise. Finally, when she could no longer bear continuing to stand under his stare she asked, "Do you despise me so much for refusing you that you can't even stand to spend an hour in my company?"   
  
He started away from her, and if he hadn't been surprised before he certainly was now. "How could you think such a thing? Have I not provided for your every whim? Have I not allowed you to roam the castle and it's grounds freely, and do anything you desired therein?"   
  
"Have you ever, besides the day arrived and now, spoken more then two sentences to me at a time? Such a strange idea of courtship you have, Beast, that you would ask me to marry you every night yet you never even attempt to have a conversation with me to try and win my affections." She could hardly believe that she was bold enough to say such a thing to him, and, realising that she may have hurt him, quickly added, "I apologise, I was too harsh."   
  
"No, I am sorry. I have not been thinking. You have been here for almost half a year without any other form of companionship, and I have not been good company. Of course you must be lonely."   
  
"Not really. Not often. But, yes, I wish that you would spend more time with me. Just because I _can_ be company enough for myself doesn't mean that I want to be."   
  
"Then I will meet you when you have finished tending your garden tomorrow, and show you where the equipment is kept then begin our lessons. After that, I promise you, things will be different." He started to walk away then pause, and, with his back still to her, said, "And Beauty? I would never propose marriage to a woman whom I despised. I hope that you will come to think more of me then that."

* * *

Shortly after the sixth month anniversary of her arrival Beauty realised that if she wanted to hold onto any of her old memories she needed to start keeping a record of them. She sat down at the desk that she hadn't touched since the first night she'd spent at the castle and, after a bit of searching, found a plain white piece of paper and a small bottle of black ink among the hundreds of colors that had been provided for her. There was nothing she could do about the quill, the only one available was made from a ridiculously long peacock feather that kept brushing over her face as she wrote but she felt it would be rude to hunt down The Beast and demand something more normal, so she just made do.   
  
_Things That Are Real_ she wrote at the top of the page. The first thing on the list came easily, _I have a father. My mother is dead._ That was one thing that never changed. Then she had to stop and think before coming up with _My father was (is?) a merchant._ She was almost certain that that was true, although from time to time she did have visions of him as an inventor of some sort. Those "memories" were never very solid, however, even compared to her other ones, so she believed that it must be untrue.   
  
_We were once rich, then we were poor._ and _When we were rich we lived in a place where there were roses. When we were poor we did not._ The idea was ludicrous to her now; how could there possibly be anywhere free of roses when they were everywhere she looked? Still, she knew it had to be real, because those two truths combined to be the reason she'd ended up in the castle.   
  
_I believe I had sisters and brothers_. She hesitated before deciding to right that down, since she was much less sure of it then she was of the other things on the list, but even if she couldn't remember how many of each it was she had she usually thought that she did have some.   
  
And that was all she could come up with. Well, the only things that mattered. She was also sure that she lived in a house, and the house was in a village, and that at some point she'd been taught to cook and to read and to play the lute. However, those were things that were obvious either because they applied to almost everyone, or because they were things that she could still do in the castle so she'd never forget that she'd had to have learned them in the past. None were worth writing down.   
  
Still, it wasn't hopeless. She knew that when she talked to The Beast about her home life the things she said were true, even if the memory of the words she'd spoken then quickly melted away, so she vowed to herself that she'd start holding what she'd said in her mind long enough to get to her paper and write it down.   
  
She only hoped that whatever magic it was that was at work on her would allow her to do so.

* * *

"Are you all right Beauty? You seem distracted."   
  
"Hmm." She glanced up at the Beast then decided he deserved and actual answer. "I'm sorry, I haven't been sleeping well recently. Strange dreams."   
  
"Do you want to go back and rest? I could row for you." After saying that he glanced at his paws doubtfully and added, "I believe. I could certainly try."   
  
She smiled at him and shook her head. "No, it's fine. You join me out here so rarely that I'd hate to see our day cut short just because I'm a little tired."   
  
"I just do not want to be a burden on you. I know that I am a great deal heavier then you are, and it must be a strain on you to row us both out here, and--"   
  
"That wasn't a condemnation!" she cut in, laughing softly. "It's alright that you don't come out here with me often now that you've stopped avoiding me around the castle like I'd contracted the Black Death. But, since have come out with me, I'd like to stay until I'd normally return. There's no reason to go back early."   
  
"If that's what you would like." He stared silently at his line for a long moment, then spoke up again. "Would you like to tell me about these dreams?"   
  
"There's not much to tell; I keep forgetting most of what happens as soon as I wake. All I can say for sure is that there's a man in them, and that he keeps... imploring me to do something. I can't remember what."   
  
"Was it..." The Beast paused for a moment, seeming to think over his words, then continued, "...a suitor of yours, perhaps?"   
  
Beauty smiled, and teasingly shoved his shoulder. His fur felt as soft as an ermine's under her fingers. "Jealous, Beast? No, I had no suitors before coming here. My father would never have allowed me to come here if I had." She frowned, concentrating on trying remember more details. "He was familiar, I think. But familiar in the way of someone you knew in your childhood and haven't seen since, where you've almost completely forgotten their face and when you see them again you can't remember who they are, you just have the feeling you once knew them. Maybe he was one of my father's old business associates, or an old neighbor. Someone from the city I used to live in at least, the clothes he wore were to fine to belong to anyone from the village, and no one wealthy ever visits such an out of the way place."   
  
"It could be a prophecy you're receiving, and this man is in trouble that only you can save him from. It's not unheard of for such things to happen here."   
  
Only a touch of bitterness entered her smile when she replied, "Does it matter? You wouldn't allow me to leave even if that was true."   
  
"That's untrue. I've long since learned that when magic touches you it's best not to ignore it. I would expect you to return, but I would allow you to go"   
  
She stared silently over the lake for a long moment, and when she turned back to him at last her expression was unreadable. "Please, don't say things like that. It feels too much like you're mocking me, saying that if only my memory were better I'd be allowed to go free, if only for a short while. I know that's not how you meant it, but I can't help feeling like that."   
  
"I'm sorry. I did not mean it that way. It is just that I know how dangerous magic can be if you disregard it's warnings, and I would not want to see you harmed because of my being to greedy for your presence to allow you to leave."   
  
"Greed. Is that what you call it?" Her rod jerked and she busied herself with capturing the fish it had hooked, not allowing him a moment to respond.

* * *

It rained again.   
  
Beauty sat in front of a fire in the music room, her back pressed against the Beast's side as she played for him. He had confided in her that he missed music; he could not play any instruments because of his claws and the shape of his fingers and the invisibles didn't know how to play so he had gone without. She had wondered for a moment why he had been able to hire musicians to play for him in the past if he couldn't do so now, but decided against asking since she felt doing so would be rude. So she picked up a lute again, in spite of the lack of interest she'd had in it since coming to the castle, and soon found that with the Beast there to listen playing it stopped being so dull.   
  
"You play well, Beauty," the Beast said after her third song, "and sing well also. How long have you trained?"   
  
"Since I was very young. When we were in the city my sisters and I were each taught how to play and instrument because my father believed it was something every young lady of class should do. When we moved away I was able to keep my old practice lute, and I spent much of my free time playing it to try and keep my family's spirits up."   
  
"Did that work?"   
  
She laughed, thinking back on that time as much as she could while the memories were momentarily within her reach, "Some. For my brothers and father at least. I think my sisters might have just thought I was showing off. They were... rather resolute in their misery over our fallen status, and didn't respond well to any attempts to roust them out of it. They didn't believe I could possibly really be any happier then they were, even though we lived in the village for almost five years before I came here and I've never been the sort to sink into a depression for long."   
  
"Then, I must say, I'm glad that you chose to come here instead of one of them."   
  
"Why, don't you believe the constant wailing and gnashing of teeth would be an interesting change of pace around here?" she asked, turning to grin at him.   
  
She wondered when it had become so natural to smile at him.

* * *

"Could you teach me to hunt?"   
  
He glanced up from his breakfast of bacon and sausages and blinked at her, her question seeming to take a minute to penetrate his mind. "I have no birds for you to use," he said finally, "but if you're willing to wait I can have one brought here. A merlin would be proper for a lady of course, but a kestrel would be better to start with. Then a peregrine perhaps? They're more clever then the merlin in my experience, and can bring down larger prey."   
  
"I had meant with a bow, but that would work too." She paused for a moment, regarding him curiously, then said, "You seem to know a lot about falconry. Are you fond of it?"   
  
His expression became so wistful that she wondered whether he'd have preferred she not ask, but he soon answered, "There was a time when it was my favorite pastime. That was long ago however, and I haven't pursued it in many years. But if you'd rather learn how to use a bow, those are still kept in good repair. We could find one that suits you as soon as we've finished eating."   
  
"Well, since we can do that right away then we might as well do so, but if you like falconry so much then I'd like to try that too. I'll defer to your judgement about which bird would best."   
  
"Then I'll see about acquiring one this evening. Beauty, if you don't mind my asking, why do you keep doing these things?"   
  
"Hmm? What things?"   
  
"All of your activities here. Making your garden, rowing on the lake, now asking me to teach you to hunt; things that most women I've known would never dream of doing for recreation. You could live like a princess here if you so wished, and never want for amusement. Why do you choose to spend your time laboring?"   
  
"I thought you didn't mind."   
  
"I don't. I am just curious."   
  
"Well, if you really want to know, I suppose I just want to know what I can do. At home, after we moved to the village, I was never allowed to do strenuous work. It was rare that I was allowed to cook, let alone dig a garden plot. At times I was allowed to weave on the loom, but only because none of my sisters were patient enough to do very careful work and mine was the only weaving good enough to sell for much money. Of course, even before leaving the city I wouldn't have been allowed to hunt with a bow or fish. My father had strong views about the things it was proper for a young lady to do, and those definitely weren't on the list."   
  
"Why did he become so strict after you moved into the country?"   
  
"Well..." Beauty sighed and looked down at the table, unable to meet his eyes any longer, "I suppose you have the right to know. I told you that I had no suitors before coming here, but that's not entirely true. Before my father lost his fortune there was a man who asked him for my hand, but my father felt that I was too young and told him that he really wanted to marry me he had to wait until I reached adulthood. He continued to show interest in me for the rest of the time we lived in the city, and have yet to hear of him marrying someone else, so my father held onto hope that he may still wish to marry me in spite of our fallen status. So he wanted me to remain as much of a lady as I was in the city. He wouldn't let me work hard lest I gain muscle or stay out in the sun for long lest my skin darken, either of which he was sure would make the man turn from me because I'd become nothing more then a peasant." She realised that she was smiling down at her strong, deeply tanned arms that were resting on the table, and looked back up at the Beast again. "He was always keenly aware of the loss he was sure we must have suffered from leaving our old life behind, and would allow nothing to lessen my chance of regaining our old status for myself at least, no matter what I felt about the matter."   
  
"Had you stayed, do you believe this man of yours would have come for you?" He paused, eyes flickering down to the table for a moment as if he was finding it difficult to meet _her_ gaze, then looked up again and said, "Did you want that?" His voice was soft and hesitant, and she wondered how much it would hurt him if she said yes. Enough that he'd stop proposing? Enough that he'd let her return home to await a man who would probably never come for her? But the Beast's eyes were warm and his smile was tentative and she couldn't bring herself to lie just for the chance to go home when she knew it would cause him pain.   
  
"No, I knew he'd never come. If he'd really continued to want me despite our fall he'd have asked again before we left the city, not left us to live in the country for half a decade without a word. Even if he had wanted to marry me, I don't think he could have. He was the son of a Baron, even though he wasn't heir, and while it would have been acceptable for him to marry the daughter of a rich and well-respected merchant, he would be allowed to wed a peasant girl with a pittance of a dowry no matter how well kept she was. At best, if he even remembered me fondly enough to care, he might someday ask me to become his mistress, but I would never accept that. I didn't even know him well enough to care to marry him if it wasn't for my father's sake, so I certainly wouldn't be willing to be his kept woman with all the people I once knew looking down at me for falling so low, and any children I might have bastards unrecognised by his family. That isn't a life I'd want for myself." She paused for breath, then smiled a bright, overly cheerful, smile and before he had time to to respond said, "Well, I'm done here. Which way to the bows?"

* * *

Beauty drew back the bowstring, took careful aim, and fired.   
  
The arrow missed the tree she was aiming for by a foot and a half and disappeared into the bushes beyond.   
  
"_Argh_!" she shouted, tossing the bow to the ground and throwing off her quiver before she stamped over to the bench the Beast sat on and plopped down beside him. "It's been a week! Shouldn't I have hit it _once_ by now?"   
  
"It takes time, Beauty. Keep practising and you'll manage it eventually."   
  
"I wish you'd show me what I'm supposed to do. I might have been able to figure out how to nock and draw the arrow by watching an invisible, but I can't tell what their stance is or how they're holding the bow or arrow, or anything else that might be useful."   
  
"You know that I can't do anything more then offer advice. I may have managed to muddle my way through teaching you how to fish on my own, but I could never draw a bow without breaking it." To prove his point he reached out to a rosebush growing near the bench and took hold of one of the stems in much the same way he'd need to hold the bowstring and began pulling it towards him. Before the stem was under anywhere near as much tension and the string would need to be at before firing his claws cut straight through it. He handed the rose to her, saying as he did so, "Just keep trying. Aren't you the one who's supposed to be so much more patient then her sisters that you're the only one who can weave decently? Use that patience."   
  
"It's easy to be patient when you're doing something you're good at. But I'm _terrible_ at this, and I don't seem to be getting any better." Still, she dragged herself back to her feet and picked up the bow and another arrow.   
  
As she started to nock the arrow she was startled by the Beast's hands on her shoulders. "Here, turn your shoulder a bit more so it faces the target," he said, gently pressing the shoulder in question. She did as he said, and then he went on giving her more instructions to improve her form. Finally he covered the hand that held the string and arrow with his own, carefully nudging the fingers into a slightly different position, just barely allowing his sharp claws to touch them. "All right, now draw the arrow." He made her shift her arm a tiny bit, then stood back and looked at her form approvingly. "There, now you just need to aim. Take your time, and when you want to loose the bow relax the fingers holding the string as much as possible so they don't disturb the arrows path."   
  
This time the arrow only missed by a foot, but before she could throw down the bow again the Beast handed her another arrow. "This time shift your aim a little to the left. All you need is to find your mark." That arrow came within an inch or two of the tree, and the next was just as close but on the other side. "Now, right between between the last two places you aimed."   
  
Beauty took a deep breath, and released the string, letting the arrow fly. A moment later it was quivering in the tree. It had just barely struck, but it was enough for her; she shrieked and whirled around, leaping up to wrap her arms around the Beast's neck. "I did it! I never thought I'd really do it but then I did it and the proof is right there, look!"   
  
"I saw. Congratulations Beauty."   
  
"Thanks. It would have taken me weeks and weeks to do that on my own, if I ever did it before I gave up in disgust. I could never have hit it today without your help." Impulsively she leaned up and kissed him on the cheek, then she realised exactly what she was doing and pulled away, her arms dropping to her sides, face flushing.   
  
They stood in awkward silence for a long moment, before the Beast finally said, "Well, it will still be weeks and weeks before you can shoot reliably, but it's a start."   
  
"Don't say that! Leave me with my delusions that from now on every arrow will strike the mark for at least a few minutes please."   
  
He laughed and smiled down at her. "All right. From now on your every shot will fly true and you will fell every creature you aim for. Now, if you'll excuse me a moment, I'll go find the arrows that flew less true and you can go back to practising."

* * *

True to his word, Beast had had hunting birds brought to the castle. She wasn't sure how he'd managed it, since all the servants were invisible and there was no way that he himself would be served even if he was willing to leave the castle and travel in the outside world to purchase them. Still, the fact that they were there was all that mattered, and Beauty wasn't going to question it.   
  
They were in the fringes of the woods, Beauty practising controlling her kestrel, when Beast suddenly said "Beauty, are you aware that Christmas is next week?"   
  
Her eyes widened. When she had come to the castle it had been a few weeks before Christmas, and she'd kept track of the days until after the following one before finally giving up the task. Had it really been two years since she'd come to live at the castle? It didn't seem to have been anywhere near that long, and if her sense of time was that far off then mightn't it have actually been three years? Perhaps even four? Hadn't she noticed for herself almost as soon as she'd arrived that time flowed strangely within the castle? Without the seasons changing to keep her sense of time anchored at least a little she really had no way to know how long it had been since she'd stopped marking down the days.   
  
She realised that Beast was watching her, waiting for a response, and hurriedly said, "No, I didn't. Why, do you wish to have a celebration this year? I warn you that if we exchange gifts it won't be that interesting for you; I'd need to give you something you already own since there're no shops around and nothing I could make you, unless you'd like some new clothing."   
  
"No, that wasn't what I was going to say." He frowned, looking conflicted, then soldiered on, "I was wondering if you... do you... would you like to visit your family for Christmas?"   
  
Beauty felt like her heart had fallen from her chest, and all she could do was respond automatically with the first thoughts to enter her mind. "I... no. _No_. Why would I want that?"   
  
Now he just looked confused. "But I thought you wanted to return home."   
  
"I just want the freedom to come and go as I please, not to return there. Why would I return to a place I'm so clearly not missed from?"   
  
"Beauty, what on _earth_ are you talking about?"   
  
"If they really cared to have me back they'd have tried to come for me years ago! But have I seen any of them even once since then? No! And even if I did, I doubt they'd want to see me now. I'm not the pale little wisp of Beauty that I was when they last saw me, and I doubt they'd believe me when I told them that I think I've bettered myself, no matter how true that is. Not that it really matters. I can't even remember them clearly most of the time."   
  
"That's what you think? Beauty, your family's never _stopped_ trying to find you."   
  
"What are you talking about? They've never come here, I'm sure of it."   
  
"No, they've never reached the castle grounds. I control the paths in the forest, you know that. There hasn't been a day since you've come here that your father, brothers, even your sisters didn't try to find their way to my castle. They even bought a house on the edge of the forest with the money I sent with your father. Even now two of your brothers are not that far from us, searching."   
  
"They've been looking for me? All this time?"   
  
"I'm sorry, I would have let you know, but I thought it would hurt you to know that they're so close when you were unable to see them."   
  
"It's alright, I'm not angry with you. Well, if they've really been searching all this time then I guess I should let them know I'm still alive." She held up her arm and whistled for her kestrel, calling it back down to her.   
  
"I'll send the path to your brothers then. I'll make sure it's winding enough for you to have plenty of time to get ready before they get here."

* * *

Beauty hadn't actually worn a dress in months, but she thought it would be a nice gesture to meet her brothers in one so she had an invisible help her struggle into the first one she saw in her wardrobe, not really caring what it looked like. She packed herself a small bag and poured all of her jewelry into it, figuring that her sisters might as well make use of it since she never would, then made a side trip to the treasure vaults to grab some gold for her father and brothers. After a moments thought she also threw in some jewelled knives as gifts for them. Finally she made her way back to the entrance hall, where the Beast was waiting for her.   
  
"I took some things from the vault to use as gifts. Do you mind?"   
  
"Everything I have is yours to use as you wish. You know that."   
  
"Okay." They stared at each other silently for a long moment, and then she flung herself herself at him, her fingers tangling in silky fur when she wrapped her arms around him, her head pressed against his chest. From there she could at last hear his heart, beat on beat on beat, and she was pleased to find that it was beating just as quickly as her own. "I'll miss you," she whispered.   
  
"Beauty..." his voice broke as he brought his arms up to hold her, and he drew in a deep breath before trying to speak again. "It's already hard enough to let you go. You should leave now, or I may not be able to manage it at all."   
  
"I will, soon. Just... let's stay like this for a little while longer."   
  
"Will you promise me something Beauty?"   
  
"Hmm?"   
  
"Please, return the day after Christmas. I don't think I could bear to have you gone for any longer."   
  
"Of course I will! I don't want to stay there longer then I need to, I promise I'll be on my way again first thing that morning."   
  
"Good." He squeezed her tighter, then murmured, "Your brothers are at the gate. You should go meet them. A horse has already been made ready for you, so I need not go out there and disturb their reunion with you."   
  
"That's probably for the best. They'd probably try to slay you at first sight for holding me here so long." She began to pull away then stopped, searching his face. He started to say something, but she smiled and shook her head a tiny bit then, before she could change her mind, leaned forward and kissed him. His lips weren't shaped right for kissing, and she could feel his fangs hard beneath them, but she didn't mind. It had been a long time since she'd minded anything about him.   
  
She pulled away, grinned, and said, "Well, I'll see you next week!" and then darted out of there as fast as he long skirts would allow, ignoring Beast calling her name from behind her in a choked sounding voice. As soon as she was outside she could see the two human forms in the distance, and ran toward them. As she got close enough to make out their features at first her memory refused to place them, only noting that they bore a slight resemblance to herself but not making any connections. Then, as she got within speaking distance, something clicked and she cried out, "Jacob! Peter!" as she closed the last of the distance between them, and then stopped dead.   
  
They stared at her, shocked, before her eldest brother Peter said, "Beauty... is that _you_?"   
  
"Of course it is! Who else would you expect?" She smiled at them then grabbed their arms, dragging them back towards the gate. "Come on, let's go see the family."   
  
"But, The Beast!" Jacob said, setting his feet firmly to try and keep her from pulling him away. "We need to execute him as punishment for imprisoning you!"   
  
"You'll do no such thing, Jacob. Do I look imprisoned to you? Come now, we're going to father's house and we're going to spend Christmas together and catch up on what's been happening in each others lives. For instance I have taken up, among other things, gardening. If you look to the left you can see my garden. It's the only place where there are flowers that _aren't_ roses." They looked, and she couldn't help but swell a little with pride as she looked as well. Her garden had become quite large in all the time she'd worked on it, and was one of the lushest plots on the grounds. She knew that that wasn't entirely, or even mostly, her doing, everything that put down roots there grew wildly, but she fully believed that it wouldn't have grown as well as it had without her spending a goodly amount of her time working on it.   
  
"It looks lovely, Beauty," Peter said, allowing her to lead him along.   
  
"Thank you. Now let's go; I want to see everyone as soon as possible!"

* * *

Beauty had hoped that being home might remove the veil from her past memories, but she quickly realised that she was mistaken. She was able to come up with the names of her three sisters (Hannah, Faith, and Deborah) and her other two brothers (Michael and Samuel); and was even able to come up with minor facts about them, enough so that at least they wouldn't guess how badly her memories of the time from before the castle had decayed. Perhaps things would have been different if they'd still lived in the house in the village or had moved back to the house she'd grown up in, but as things were she couldn't even remember things as well as she did during her conversations with Beast, although she did her best to fake it.   
  
Her family had been jubilant over her arrival, and remained in high spirits through the rest of her visit. They didn't even look down on her for her physical changes the way she'd feared they would; indeed, her father often enthused over how proud he was to have such a strong, capable daughter, for all the world as if he'd never watched her every day to make sure she didn't do anything that went against what his ideas about what a lady should look and act like. She wondered how their behaviour would change if she let them know that she was only visiting for a few days and then would be returning to the castle, but decided against actually saying anything because she didn't really want to lower the mood, even if it would be a bigger shock for her to just go missing then it would be if she let them know she'd be doing so.   
  
So she crept downstairs early the morning after Christmas, and was startled to see Peter was already up. "Good morning, Beauty," he said.   
  
"Oh, good morning Peter. I didn't expect you to be up at this time of the morning."   
  
"I wish I could say the same. You plan to leave, don't you?"   
  
"_What_? Why ever would you think that?" She honestly didn't know how he'd guessed, she wasn't even bringing her bag back with her, and wasn't dressed in travelling clothes. Had she slipped up in some way?   
  
"Did you really think I wouldn't guess? Come now, Beauty, weren't we always closer to one another then to anyone else in the family? Of _course_ I noticed that you were acting strangely, and it didn't take much thinking to realise you must be planning on returning to that place." He shook his head, and ran a hand through his hair. "Honestly, I'm a little ashamed that I didn't figure it out sooner then I did. Why would The Beast just let you leave after all this time, during which we haven't had so much as a letter from you? And why did he let that horse he provided stay here, and leave the path to his castle open? Why would you just bring one small bag, and leave behind all your other possessions? Just please, Beauty, tell me why you'd ever _want_ to go back there? Now that you're here we could flee him; we have enough gold to charter a boat to the Americas, and I'm sure he wouldn't be able to follow us there. What hold does he have over you Beauty?"   
  
She stared at the nearest wall silently for a little while, thoughts racing, then sighed and said, "Let's go fishing."   
  
Peter started, then looked at her as thought she'd lost her wits. "Fishing? What--"   
  
"You always wanted to take me when we were children, didn't you? So let's go, now that I know how to. Before our voices wake the others." She walked out the kitchen door, and towards the supply house in the back where she was sure the tackle would be kept, Peter following close behind protesting.   
  
"Beauty, it's the dead of winter! Even if the river hasn't frozen over there will be no fish to catch, and we'll catch ill from the cold while trying! In case you've forgotten, there're differences between the seasons here in the real world, it's not eternally summer here!"   
  
"I realise that, Peter. Even if I had somehow forgotten, I have been here a week and noticed the cold. But _catching_ the fish isn't important, I just want to go. It'll give us a chance to talk, if you want to. If you don't, well, I said that I'd leave early this morning so I should get going."   
  
"Fine! Then let's go freeze!" He took the pole she handed him, then turned away, "The river is this way. I hope you're aware that even if there are any fish they're unlikely to bite a bare hook, and I'm not digging in the frozen ground to try to find worms."   
  
"Here, have a lure, you grump," she said, laughing as she followed him. "You have no right to complain, you know. You didn't _need_ to get up early and question my actions, and like I said, you don't _need_ to go. It's not like you've never been cold before. If you want to question my actions, then we're going."   
  
They walked in silence the rest of the way to the thankfully unfrozen river, through casting their lines, and right up until Beauty caught her first fish. "Where on earth did that come from?" he asked, staring at the large trout flopping around on her line with much more enthusiasm then any fish had the right to show in freezing temperature.   
  
"Oh, I have an inkling," she replied, looking fondly towards the nearby woods which the river flowed from, and thinking of the castle hidden deep within them. "So, you wanted to know what 'hold' Beast has over me?"   
  
"If you'd be kind enough to share."   
  
"Well, the answer is none, other then mutual bonds of affection."   
  
"_Affection?_ How could you care for an evil beast that's kept you prisoner for years?"   
  
"Don't judge people you know nothing about!" she replied, whirling around to face Peter. She was surprised to realise how angry his words had made her. "In all my time at the castle he's never been anything but kind and polite to me; he has given me anything I could possibly want and asked for nothing in return, and he has been the dearest friend I could ever ask for!"   
  
"No friend would keep you enslaved, Beauty!"   
  
"He did no such thing! In fact, you might find it interesting to know that _he_ had to convince _me_ to leave. If he hadn't done so I'd have never returned at all, yet all I've heard since coming back is how lucky I am to have escaped his castle and people asking how horrible he was to me. I agreed to come out here because I thought maybe you would be willing to listen to what I have to say without judging, since you said yourself that we were close growing up and you've made less comments about Beast then the others, otherwise I'd never have even tried to talk to you about it."   
  
She moved to get up and walk away, but he grabbed her arm to prevent her from moving. "I'm sorry," he said. "I promise, I won't interrupt again. Please, try to explain to me why you're so willing to leave us again."   
  
So she did. She explained how when she'd first come to the castle she'd been left on her own for the most part, with only the invisible, voiceless, servants for company during the day and the Beast only speaking to her over dinner. How she'd finally snapped and demanded to know why he always avoided her, which made Peter laugh and comment about how that was the stubborn sister he knew, and how from then on the Beast became her near constant companion. How he'd never looked down on her for doing things that their father would never have allowed her to even think of doing, and had in fact even taught her some of them. She described the castle, and the grounds, and everything she'd found to do in them, and everything else of interest that she could think of. The only things she left out were the proposals, and the tricks the castle played on her memory.   
  
When she finished the sun was high in the sky, there was a smile pile of fish in the snow between them, and she was numb from the cold. Peter sat in silence for a while, appearing to be deep in thought, then finally said, "All right, perhaps we all judged The Beast too soon. But I still think that he should not have kept you away for so long without letting us at least know you were well."   
  
"Well... if you can convince the others not to attack Beast as soon as they see him, or to try and drag me home, I think he would be willing to let everyone visit. He probably would have earlier if I'd asked, but I'd never thought to. Of course, I'd never realised that you were all trying to find your way there, and didn't realise that the woods confused themselves on you, so you can't really blame me for never having asked."   
  
"Convince them yourselves. They have a right to an explanation Beauty, or at least a good-bye, instead of just waking up to find you've disappeared. Anyway, don't you want to eat these fish you've managed to miraculously catch in December?"   
  
She smiled and stood, gathering half of the fish and leaving the rest for Peter. "All right. I suppose a few more hours won't hurt. Let's head back to the house."

* * *

She had underestimated how long things would take when she'd guessed a few hours. First she'd had to wait for everyone to calm down after she'd announced she was leaving. Then they're demanded she explain herself, and she'd had to go through the whole story again except this time she was interrupted almost every other sentence by six different people. Then they'd dragged her into town, where Hannah lived with her husband and baby daughter, and made her tell it again. By then it was mid-afternoon, and everyone insisted that if she _had_ to leave then she couldn't do so on an empty stomach, so they'd make the fish she'd caught for dinner and since she hadn't eaten anything all day she agreed. It was when dark was falling and they began saying that she should stay one more night that she finally put her foot down.   
  
"I said that I'd leave first thing this morning, and now it's sunset. It takes half a day to get there, so I won't even arrive until tomorrow and I don't want it to be in the afternoon. I'm sorry, but I need to go."   
  
"But Beauty," Faith said, "it's dark enough in that forest during the day that you could lose yourself if you aren't careful, how can you keep to the path in the middle of the night?"   
  
"I won't. I don't think I could. The Beast controls the forest, he wouldn't allow me to get lost, and even if my sense of direction was bad enough that I somehow managed to get lost in spite of that, I'm sure the horse wouldn't. After all, it belongs at the castle."   
  
"Please Beauty, one night can't hurt. There's still so much to say, one week is to short a time," her father said.   
  
"One week's plenty of time to say anything important. If you haven't said something by now, then it can wait until the next time we see each other. I'm going, now." She quickly left the house before they could say more. She knew that they'd follow her out, but it would be easier to evade them if they actually tried to physically stop her outside then it would with everyone packed into the same room.   
  
"Beauty, listen to reason!" Michael said reaching to grab her arm, but missing when she side-stepped out of the way. "Even if you're sure you won't get lost, the woods are dangerous at night. That beast can't possibly begrudge us keeping you one more night for your safety."   
  
"I'm already so late that he may be thinking I've decided never to return! Now, good-bye everyone! I'm sure we'll see each other soon, and until then you have my love." She mounted Beast's horse, and set it galloping into the woods, her family calling farewells from behind her.

* * *

She had been wrong about the impossibility of getting lost in the woods. It was almost dawn when she finally reached the castle, a few hours later then it should have been. She had never actually lost the path, but the path itself seemed confused about where it was going, and kept twisting and doubling back on itself until it finally reached the gate.   
  
She was a little surprised that Beast wasn't waiting for her at the gate, but decided that since it was so early he must still in bed. So she went to his room, noticing that the castle seemed darker and quieter then normal but assuming that it must be because of the time of night. "Beast?" she said, knocking on the door, then pushing it open a little. "Beast, I'm back."   
  
There was no answer, so she stepped inside, bringing a candle from the halls to see by. "Beast, are you awake?" She'd never actually been in his room before. She'd known where it was, but had never had reason to enter. Now she looked around curiously, taking in the rich furnishings and the fine decorations. Most of all her eyes were drawn to the large painting on one wall, an old family portrait that, judging by the crown on the father's head, was apparently of royalty. Most of all she looked at the small boy standing before his parents and looking much more arrogant then any child she'd ever known in real life. For some reason the child looked very familiar, even though she knew she'd never been in the presence of royalty before and especially not _this_ royalty, since the painting looked very old. She wondered why on earth Beast had it, and why he'd keep it in his room.   
  
Finally she dragged herself away from that painting and approached the bed. "Beast?" But it was empty, and she wasn't that surprised since the mattress was completely shredded at hand and foot level. She went through the door to the other room of the suite, assuming that he must have made a bed for himself in there that wouldn't be so easily torn to bits, and was saddened at the thought of him being forced to sleep on the floor like a dog. But, although there was a nest of blankets there, he wasn't in them. "Beast, where are you?" she asked herself, and then started and whirled around when a hand took hers and tugged it. There was no one there, and after a heart-stopping minute she realised that it must have been one of the invisibles. "Oh, I'm sorry. I wasn't expecting you. Do you know where he is?" Her hand was grabbed again, and when the tugging restarted she went with it, allowing the invisible to lead her. Normally she wouldn't go so easily with one of the servants, but this wasn't the time to let herself be unsettled by them.   
  
It lead her out of the castle and back across the lawns, and she soon realised that they were heading straight toward her garden. "That's where he is?" she asked, "The garden?" The hand shook hers, and she assumed that was it's version of a nod, so she said, "All right, then I can go the rest of the way by myself if you don't mind." The hand slipped away, and she broke into a run.   
  
She came to a dead stop when Beast was in sight, crumbled against a tree that her garden had been planted around as she expanded it, crying out. The sun was high enough now that there was no disguising the fact that he was lying in his own blood. All she could do was stare in horror for a long moment, before finally closing the rest of the distance between them and falling to her knees behind him, tears streaming down her face. "Beast," she whispered, shaking him to try and wake him. "Beast, I'm here, I know I'm a little late but I'm back now. Please be okay." The source of the blood was obvious, one of the blades from the sharp shears she used when trimming plants in the garden was imbedded deeply into his leg, although she had no idea how it had gotten there. For some reason the hole was wider then the blade was where it entered, as though someone had begun pulling it out then stopped halfway, but she didn't want to think about it. Not knowing what else to do she pulled it out, shuddering as fresh blood began flowing from the hole, then used them to slice up her skirt to use as bandages, doing her best to ignore the red streaks left on what was left of it by the bloody blade. She bound the wound as well as she could, then turned back to where she was sure the invisible was still standing, and ordered, "Get some of the others, so we can move him inside."   
  
Almost immediately Beast began to rise, and she was realised that she'd been stupid thinking that only the one would be there. Of course the invisibles would be gathered around their hurt master; that must have been why the castle felt so empty, and why it took so long for one of them to come get her. "But, if you're all here," she said, "Why didn't any of _you_ help him?" She knew she wouldn't get an answer from the mute servants, and after a moment she added under her breath, "And why didn't he help himself?" as she followed them into the castle.   
  
"He can rest in my bed," she said, remembering the shreds of his own and the sad pile of blankets on the ground. "I'm sure he'll be more comfortable there." Then she followed them in silence the rest of the way, only breaking it again when he was on the bed to say, "Make some broth, and bring water. Hopefully he'll soon wake up at least enough to swallow them, so his body will have some energy for healing itself." At least she prayed that was the case; he was still breathing at least, although he was far too still.   
  
When the door closed she pulled the desk chair up to the bed and sat down in it, taking one of his paws in her hand. One of his sharp claws slid against her hand, slicing through the skin even though it was barely pressed against it, but she didn't mind. All it did was make her remember how exceedingly careful he'd been to keep from cutting her every time he touched her, and the thought brought tears to her eyes once more. She slumped down, resting her head against his shoulder and trying to stop herself from sobbing. She had to keep enough control to help him, but she couldn't seem to managed it. "Why did you do this?" She asked him through her sobs. "You would have had plenty of time to get inside and get patched up before you lost enough blood to lose consciousness! Even if you couldn't walk you could have had the servants help you! Why would you... Oh, please wake up. Please, God, please, I'll do anything. I'll stay here forever, and never ask you for anything, and we'll get married, and I'll do anything that you ask for, just please wake up."   
  
He suddenly took a deep breath, and her fingers moved to hold her as much as his paws would allow. "You'll marry me?" he asked, and his voice was weak but at least he was speaking.   
  
Beauty sat upright, her eyes widening, but when she saw that he really was awake and looking at her she nodded, brushing away her tears with her free hand. It was a useless gesture since she was still crying, but at least it let her feel a little bit more pulled together. "That's what I said, wasn't it?"   
  
"Yes but, did you _mean_ it, Beauty? Or were you just promising anything you could think of to try and wake me?"   
  
"Fool," she whispered. "I wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it." She touched her forehead to his paw, squeezing her eyes closed to try and stop the tears as she asked, "What happened?"   
  
"I thought you'd decided you weren't coming back when you didn't return here all day. I went to try and take care of your garden, since I know how much you love it, but my hands aren't shape right for grasping things and the shears fell. I caught them between my leg and the tree without thinking." He managed a small laugh, smiling to himself slightly as he said, "I never was that good at remembering that my actions could have negative consequences. I started to remove the blade but... as I said, I'd thought that you must have decided to stay with your family."   
  
She realised to her surprise that she was getting angry, "So because I didn't leave right when I said I would you'd have let yourself die? You couldn't even wait for _one day_?"   
  
"I told you before you left that I didn't think I could bear it if you stayed away longer."   
  
"You said if I waited longer then the day after Christmas to leave! And I did, even if it was later then I thought it would be. _I'm_ the one who said I'd leave first thing in the morning. What if there'd been a blizzard in the outside world and I'd been unable to leave until the snow cleared enough for the horse to get through? Would you have just let yourself die, and left me to find your cold body when I managed to return?"   
  
"I'm sorry Beauty, I did not think." He paused then said, "I promise, you don't need to marry me if you don't want to."   
  
"Will you get off that? Didn't I make it clear before I left? Do you think I kiss men good-bye for friendships sake? I love you, you idiot, of course I'm going to marry you."   
  
"Oh," he said, then his hand went slack and his body stilled.   
  
"Beast? Beast! Oh God!" She stood up, shaking him again, but now he wasn't even breathing. She heard a crashing sound behind her and turned her to see a tray on the ground before the door with broken clayware and spilt broth and water surrounding it. "Help me!" she cried out to the invisible. "I don't know what to do, he was awake and then he just _stopped!_ I need to help him, I need to--" She stopped in midsentence, her mouth hanging open. Even in her current state of panicked grief what was happening was shocking enough to stop her brain from running.   
  
_She could see it._   
  
Well, a little. It was just barely there, the transparent shell of a tiny, plain-looking, woman who was staring past Beauty with an amazed expression, but she was becoming clearer by the moment. "What--" Beauty started, but the woman cut her off by hissing,   
  
"Look!" Beauty turned back to the bed, then shouted, trying to jump backwards from a sitting position, but instead just falling to the floor sprawled across her chair. Beast himself remained still, but there was something moving inside of him, thrashing out and stretching Beast's skin out much further then it should be capable of extending. Before she'd stared in horror for more then a minute she felt something pressed into her hand, and looked down to see that the woman had handed her a sharp knife, and also that several other people had entered the room in the meantime. "Cut him open," the woman said. "It must be you."   
  
"I can't. I can't! He's--"   
  
"The one you love. Yes, we know he must be, but you _must_, or he really will die."   
  
"He's alive? Then, is that him in there? _How?_" But she didn't wait for an answer, just pushed herself to her feet and approached the bed, tightening her grip on the knife. The woman could be lying, Beauty knew. Hadn't she always feared them? Maybe something deep inside of her had been warning her that they were evil, that they wanted to free whatever this was within Beast's skin. But why would he let them work for him, if that were true, and assure her countless time that they wouldn't harm her. But maybe he'd somehow held then in thrall, and now that he was dead they were free and were trying to trick her. But... he was dead, and if the woman had told her the truth then doing this would save him. So she plunged the knife into his chest and dragged it downwards, disembowelling him, then held her breath and waited.   
  
An arm burst out of his stomach, then another, and then a man was pushing himself out of the corpse. Beauty tried to step away from him, but found herself block by the now great crowd of people who filled the room to capacity, so she just stared at him. And, it was Beast. And it was the man from her dreams. It was like someone had taken the man then remolded his features to give him slightly bestial form, his mouth and expanded out the tiniest bit to give it the merest suggestion of a muzzle, his finger nails and teeth slightly longer and sharper then a man's should be, his hair long and furlike, and the rest of his body covered in a fine layer of fur the same color as the Beast's. Somehow, Beauty thought, a man who looked slightly beastlike was more unsettling then the Beast himself had ever been, but she knew it would have been even worse if he'd just been a man. "Beast?" she asked softly.   
  
"Benjamin," he said, whirling to face her. He moved to take her hands, then seemed to realise that he was naked and instead quickly wrapped her blanket around himself.   
  
"What?"   
  
"My name. I'd forgotten it, until just now. She'd said that beast's did not have names, so neither could I. Otherwise I would have told you before now." He'd seemed to notice his arm now, and was touching the fur and fingernails, muttering, "What in the world?" but he didn't seem to be addressing her, so she ignored it.   
  
"She said? Who?"   
  
"The witch who did this to me. Why am I covered in fur? I should be human again." He hopped up and walked over to her mirror, studying himself in it. "What in the world?"   
  
Beauty finally steeled her nerves enough to cross over to him, and lightly pressed her hand against his arm. "I don't mind. I wouldn't have recognised you without the fur. Now, what just happened?"   
  
For the first time since bursting out he seemed to really look at her, then frowned. "You're upset. I'm sorry Beauty, I never even thought that you'd have grown used to my form, I just thought if you did somehow come to love me you'd be happy to discover that I'm human. Well," he glanced back at the mirror with a wry look, "was human. Am something in between."   
  
"So, you were human to begin with. Then?"   
  
"I was an arrogant, greedy, hedonistic fool. Then one night an old begger woman came to the castle begging for food and shelter for the night, and I refused to let her into the castle and cast her off the grounds. It turned out that she was a witch, and she cursed me so 'the appearance without matched the appearance within' until such a time as I'd changed enough to earn someone's love. I would have told you the truth Beauty, I swear I would have, but there were rules to the curse and you couldn't know. Even the servants were curse to be faceless and voiceless so they couldn't let any women how came here know the truth, and they'd never done anything to deserve it."   
  
"Beas... uh, Benjamin--"   
  
"You may still call me Beast if you wish."   
  
"All right, _Beast_, it will take me time to get used to this, but I'll try. Just give me awhile."   
  
"Beauty, I've waited for... longer then I care to think about. Take whatever time you need. And, if you don't wish to marry me in this form, I won't blame you."   
  
"Oh, stop it with that. You're still the same person, correct? I just need time to get accustomed to the change in your appearance. For now, why don't we go have breakfast? I've had a _very_ trying night, and you have as well, so we could use some food. You can tell me more about your past as a human."   
  
He smiled at her warmly. "If that's what you wish. Then I'll go dress, and we'll all leave to let you change as well." She'd forgotten about her torn and bloodied skirt until then, and now she blushed. If it had just been him, or if the servants had still been invisible, she wouldn't have minded, but being in front of so many strange people with her legs bared to her knees very embarrassing.   
  
"Then I'll meet you in the dining room in half an hour?" He nodded then left the room, followed by the horde of servants. As soon as it was empty she locked the door, then crossed back to the bed. She sank to the floor and brushed her hand against the cheek of The Beast's empty shell, the only part of it that still appeared normal and not flattened out like a suit of empty clothing then, one final time, allowed herself to cry for him.   
  
By the time she'd changed and walked to the dining room there was no sign that the tears had been there at all. 


End file.
